Its been nearly 8 years you left this earth. I miss you every single day I wake and take a breath. I miss your smile, smell, hugs and love, but today I try to not be so sad when I think about you partying in heaven with Jesus. :) Happy Birthday Nana. I will miss you, forever. Till we meet again. Cheers!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W44Ndo0mm4
A blog for those over 18 only. An insight of what I like and who I am.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Never enough words
There are never enough words to express gratitude, love, heartache etc... why is that I wonder. I wonder about this because there are so many people I am thankful for yet I never have enough words or emotions to thank them. I always feel that I need to do something in return but never seem to know the right things to do. I am not crafty, I don't sew, knit, crochet, draw etc.. I bake occasionally, I write. I am a very grateful person for people who have done things for me, for people who have been there for me in my darkest hours. I just can't seem to express how amazing I feel about some of these people. A few of them I have never even met personally they are just online. So I ask myself all the time.... what can one do to show appreciation? I'm a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, a tear to cry with, a smile, confidence to boost you, but is that enough? There is never enough words or actions when you are truly grateful for people. I'm hoping one day when I am face to face with some of these people I admire and cherish as friends that my hug will more then enough be sincere to show them that they mean the world to me and Thank you.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Hello 2012
Well, the new year is upon us and I can only hope that the warm weather, the sunshine that kissed my face as I woke up this morning and the smiles from all my kids and husband are a sign that the year to come will be calm cool and collected. If not I am sure I will be woooosaaaaing A LOT.. lmao.. Well as promised I said my first post of 2012 will be on how my grandfathers are an inspiration to me. Let me start with my maternal grandfather. I call him pappie. This man worked hard his whole life to provide for his family. He worked hard. He was a mechanic. When they sold his garage and he retired along with his brothers, they decided to work with him at his home and fix cars in their spare time at the garage at his home. He was a trusted mechanic that did his work well and was very respected. He is a Christan man but in no means hypocritical. He doesn't preach he just thanks the lord everyday for his life and his family. He has 4 kids, 7 grandchildren and 11 great grandchildren. The irony is my paternal grandfather has the same amount of grand and great grandchildren. lol Unfortunately, when my pappie was 73 tragedy struck us. He was shoveling snow off of his flat roof garage. Miscounted his steps and resulted in a 20 foot plunge to what he thought was his death but worse in some ways. He broke his back. He is now paralyzed from the waste down. I could never imagine having my legs for 73years only to have them taken from me. This event was touch and go for about a week. Then we were told he would NEVER walk again. This man took it with pride and hasn't slowed down. He learned to drive again, he travels still and he built his own harnesses to hoist and hold him up to work on cars to mow his lawn and he is even at 80 years old trying to develop his own set of legs so he can walk again. This hasn't slowed him down. He has applied for stem cell research and so on but because of his age no one wants to consider him. So he is taking it upon himself to walk again. It isn't because he hasn't accepted it, I believe it is because he wants to continue living. It seems though as much as his life slowed him down he still continues to smile and carry on. Every time i think things are bad I think about him and I mentally slap myself because dammit if he can be happy and carry on after everything that happen to him.... I sure as hell could keep my chin up right? His will, his character and his perseverance is such an inspiration and fills me with an insatiable need to keep moving on.
My Paternal Grandfather.. I call him Pop Pop in unbelievable. He has been a constant in my life from a newborn on. He helped my mum out when my dad split, He and my nana were ALWAYS there. He didn't have an easy life growing up. in 1942 he was drafted only to be sent home as the only surviving son after his brother had been killed in a school bus accident after an away football game. Also during that time he had been with my grandmother for 2 years. When he came home he had a lot of responsibility. He had sisters he had to help take care of and among other things he still juggled a girlfriend. He never had it easy.NEVER. Then when he married my nana (still the same love he had in 1940) They were going to be faced with struggles and obstacles beyond belief but their love managed to get them through the worst of times. He was forced into early retirement because of his health. He suffered 2 heart attacks before he turned 40. They had 4 children. His soul was ripped away from him 8 years ago when my Nana suddenly passed away. She had a brain aneurysm I thought he was not going to be far behind her. He loved her so very much and after 64 years with someone you sorta don't know how to go on with out that constant in your life. He made a promise to her many years ago that he would continue living no matter what happen to her. His goal was to live to be a 100 years old. He was just released about 2 years ago from his cardiologist because never in his career had he ever seen a heart that suffered 2 heart attacks ever come back to 100% and not look like any damage was done. Essentially, I believe that she healed his heart to push him closer to his goal. He is 85 years old and the dr says he is as healthy as a 65 year old man. He smiles all the time and rubs her urn and says Im gonna do it honey. Im gonna see all our great grandkids graduate. I say he is pushing it because Liem is just a year old now. He laughs and me and always says "Watch me." I feel I contribute to his want because I give him challenges.. He is so very very very proud of his grandchildren and great grandchildren. The man radiates love and affection and adoration. When you see him smile you simply can not help but smile back at him. This man inspires me to be everything I can be simply because he believes in ME. I love these two men with every fiber of being in my body. I can't and don't want to imagine life without them but i know even after they are going to continue being my inspiration. My Nana is another story she was my best friend and that post will come another day, but these 2 men, They are my hero's and while they don't wear capes or have super powers their love and acceptance is more then I could ever ask for. To you Pappie and Pop Pop I Love you more then you could ever imagine.
My Paternal Grandfather.. I call him Pop Pop in unbelievable. He has been a constant in my life from a newborn on. He helped my mum out when my dad split, He and my nana were ALWAYS there. He didn't have an easy life growing up. in 1942 he was drafted only to be sent home as the only surviving son after his brother had been killed in a school bus accident after an away football game. Also during that time he had been with my grandmother for 2 years. When he came home he had a lot of responsibility. He had sisters he had to help take care of and among other things he still juggled a girlfriend. He never had it easy.NEVER. Then when he married my nana (still the same love he had in 1940) They were going to be faced with struggles and obstacles beyond belief but their love managed to get them through the worst of times. He was forced into early retirement because of his health. He suffered 2 heart attacks before he turned 40. They had 4 children. His soul was ripped away from him 8 years ago when my Nana suddenly passed away. She had a brain aneurysm I thought he was not going to be far behind her. He loved her so very much and after 64 years with someone you sorta don't know how to go on with out that constant in your life. He made a promise to her many years ago that he would continue living no matter what happen to her. His goal was to live to be a 100 years old. He was just released about 2 years ago from his cardiologist because never in his career had he ever seen a heart that suffered 2 heart attacks ever come back to 100% and not look like any damage was done. Essentially, I believe that she healed his heart to push him closer to his goal. He is 85 years old and the dr says he is as healthy as a 65 year old man. He smiles all the time and rubs her urn and says Im gonna do it honey. Im gonna see all our great grandkids graduate. I say he is pushing it because Liem is just a year old now. He laughs and me and always says "Watch me." I feel I contribute to his want because I give him challenges.. He is so very very very proud of his grandchildren and great grandchildren. The man radiates love and affection and adoration. When you see him smile you simply can not help but smile back at him. This man inspires me to be everything I can be simply because he believes in ME. I love these two men with every fiber of being in my body. I can't and don't want to imagine life without them but i know even after they are going to continue being my inspiration. My Nana is another story she was my best friend and that post will come another day, but these 2 men, They are my hero's and while they don't wear capes or have super powers their love and acceptance is more then I could ever ask for. To you Pappie and Pop Pop I Love you more then you could ever imagine.
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